Is He Really The One?

Whether or not your partner is right for you is one of the most
important decisions of your life. Your entire future depends on these
choices so how can you be sure you have the picked the right one?

Well, the first thing you need to do is honestly ask yourself why you
love or are in love with your partner? You would be surprised at the
answers you hear when you ask that same question to your friends.

The wrong answers to that question include the following:

Because they love me.
It's better than being alone.
I don't want to hurt them.
Because I am not ! sure I would find someone better.

These answers indicate a relationship built upon fear, insecurity and
pity.

There are good matches out there, but if there are too many ifs, ands
or buts, then sooner or later the relationship will fail. Now that
doesn't mean you will break up, you could stay together for the rest
of your lives and s! till fail as a couple.

So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner?
Obviously you are going to choose a partner that you are physically
attracted to. Apart from that aspect, there are a few important areas
you should look at:

Communication Level-When you talk to them, are they on the same level
as you? How long does it take them to answer your question? Do you get
bored because they answer everything else under the sun rather than
the question you asked or do you enjoy the tangents they ta! ke you
on?
Do they speak very slowly compared to you? Do they understand you
when you speak? Can you really talk to them about absolutely anything?
This may not seem important now but could you imagine living with
someone for the next 50 - 70 years that can never answer a direct
question, frustrates you to no end by their speed of communication and
just doesn't get it when you are trying to explain something to them?

Common Interests-This is really a given. You have to have something in
common with them to be able to be with them. Otherwise you will have ;)
nothing to talk about and nothing to do together. Yes, physically you may
have great sex,but how far can that really take you? When two people have
different interests, one person usually ends up
sacrificing their desires for the other person... or you end up living
completely separate lives.

Ambitions-Do you both want the same things in life or are they going
to hold you back? Are they willing to let you have that career you
have always wanted. Even if it means working long hours plus going to
school at night?

Ethics Level-Do they have the same values as you? Would they feel
totally OK doing something that you would have strong objections to
or vice versa? Do you have the same beliefs on major issues such as
religion, prejudice, raising children etc? If not, is this something
that will become a problem in the future?

Grooming and Cleanliness-Are they a slob and are you the type of person
that likes to keep the house immaculate? Do you take the same level of
care of your appearance? There is a lot of false information about
relationships out there. One of the biggest lies is that opposites
attract. That is really just a myth. Now a lot of the things listed above
do come down to personal choice. It comes down to what you are and
are not willing to accept. Just because you have fallen in love with
someone does not mean that they are the righT one for you. The number of
people in physically or emotionally abusive relationships should be
testament enough to that.

One t h ing is for sure. Do not settle for something less than you want
because you are scared of hurting them, being alone or you feel this
might be the best you can get.

You never know what you might have missed that was right around the
corner.

Settling is always settling, no matter what way you look at it
By doing so, you will be left with a lifetime of what ifs.

love doesn't ask "why?" for it is a reason itself... love doesn't ask
"what if?" for it is willing to risk all...love doesn't ask "until
when?" for it knows only forever...